Sun's Out, Run's Out.

So, I've been getting more used to Oklahoma. And I learned a little local secret about running - go in the morning! I have to send out some reports for work everyday at around 5 am and the sun comes up around 6 so I've been heading out for some really beautiful sunrise runs and have been able to beat the heat (thankfully!). And even though I'm not too much of a morning person, I'm kind of loving this new routine. 

For starters, over the past year with all of my traveling I've learned an important lesson: there's no better way to discover a new place than to run around it. And in the early morning at dawn, I feel like I have the whole place to myself. It's just me and the pavement and the adorable little town of Alva. 

I guess there are a lot of country roads out here and a lot of the people I work with like to run on them. But ya'll - there are TARANTULAS and SCORPIONS and RATTLESNAKES and God knows what else out here in this area and so I've decided to keep to the pavement and have stuck around the town square instead. 

You should be jealous of this sunrise!

Adorable little boutiques around downtown Alva.

77 degree weather? Yes, please and thank you!

Running in the morning is such a different energy and atmosphere than any other time of day. And I've found myself craving a different type of music on these runs. Instead of my usual mix of bumping club music (Flo Rida, Pitbull, Nicki Minaj, Wiz Khalifa, etc.), I want to listen to something a little more chill (enter: Crosby, Stills, and Nash, Minus the Bear, John Mayer, Band of Horses, T Swift). 

So far, half marathon training is going well - but I'm still nervous and scared just thinking about the daunting task of trotting 13.1 motherfreaking miles. Whatevs, I'll do it.

But today I'm heading back to good ol' North Carolina for a week. I'm ready for some sea-level runs, toes in the sand, and maybe a few fireworks to celebrate good old 'Merica. see Sam run is moving in (temporarily) this month so I need to do some house cleaning and make way for her, as well!

Happy Tuesday, everybody! What's your favorite thing about morning runs?

see Sam run Saturday: A Letter a Long Time Coming

I initially began this week's post with a promise to you all to start running again. To start training for that halfie in November (whether I am in Wilmington to run it along side HealthyLittleMe or not, I will run it with her despite our geographic differences - I owe it to myself,  mostly.) But after reading the letter to her 20 year old self, I started thinking about where I was at 20.

"That would be some letter!" I thought in my head.

"No way, that would bring up some shit you DO NOT want to deal with plus you'd be copying your friend in a near identical post."

"It'd be far too long of a post, nobody wants to read that drama."

"What would you say anyway?"

"This is a fitness blog, it doesn't belong here."

Then it occurred to me. I don't want to write it because it's painful. Even now, as I sit here with that bubble in my throat and that stinging pain in my eyes and push down the notion to tear up, I still haven't let my mind truly drift back to that point in my life because it's easier to block it out. It's that very reason I feel I need to write a letter to my 20 year old self. Oh boy.

***Warning: This isn't going to be pretty, or funny, but maybe it will not only help me chase away some hidden demons, but help somebody else out there, too.***


Dear 20 year old Sam,

Hi. You're probably sitting in a tiny, dark, one bedroom apartment in Georgia. In fact, I know you are, and you have been for a year now. You don't leave the apartment for any reason other than to accompany S to the supermarket or to the local package store. You're not allowed. You don't have a vehicle of your own, you don't know anybody anyway, so there is no real reason to leave. You're scared and won't admit it. Actually, you won't admit it for another three years.

If there is one thing I want you to know, Sam, it's that it get's better. It gets so much better. But first, there will be A LOT of pain,  A LOT of hurt, A LOT of self doubt, and  A LOT of guilt. You'll figure it out in time. You'll get fed up with abuse and embarrassment and you will find the strength to leave. I know right now your first instinct is one of pride, you feel like you made this choice of your own free will and you must deal with the repercussions like a big girl, but you are wrong.

First of all, you're not a "big girl." You are a child. You are a child that was preyed upon by someone twice your age. He knew exactly what he was doing and you were fooled. It's not your fault. I'm going to be honest with you, sweet girl, he has a disease and he can't be helped. You can go ahead and deny it for a few more years, but when you try to help, it will backfire and he will drag you down with him.

Run.

When you finally see things clearly, run. Run as fast as you can. Don't wait until you have your "ducks in a row" because that will never happen, just get out.

This next part is of vital importance, so pay attention. Something terrible will happen. You will get a phone call one day while you're living (finally, really living) with some great people and your life will be completely turned upside down. I'd like to tell you not to answer that call, but it's unavoidable. You still care for the scared, broken little boy that lives inside that monster and you will answer it anyway. Don't be disappointed when you hear the slurred speech on the other end. It won't matter what you say, he is calling to make sure he gets one last hit in before he ends his pain for good. Don't wait to call 911 because you think it's another prank, this one is real. And don't throw the phone across the room when the coroner calls. Sometimes people's jobs force them to be insensitive. Forgive.

It wasn't your fault.

It was never your fault.

It was completely and utterly inevitable.

Stop being so angry. Let it go. You did love a part of him. I know it's easier to make yourself believe you never really did, but some part of you loved a part of him that got destroyed along the way. Mourn for that loss, it's okay. Stop being so angry.

You will meet some truly amazing people in the months and years to come. A lifelong friend who's name you will wear that made you remember what laughing feels like again. A group of people that, despite being scattered to the four corners of the world after college, will still stay in touch (for the most part) and there will be many laughs and memories to share. You will get married again, even though you will swear not to. You will have ups and downs. You will know what true friendship and love is in this man. He will never hurt you. You need to talk to someone about your past, even though you think it's all over and done with. It will have long reaching ramifications. Trust yourself.

You will travel. You will see things you never dreamed.

Try harder for those scholarships, they are not as difficult as they seem. You'll end up with more than few under your belt. Get started earlier.

No one sounds good on radio. Don't give yourself grief about it. Also, don't tell people when it's aired, it will embarrass you.

You will write books! It will be the best job ever, don't agonize over it, enjoy it!

That crazy old professor that always brings you fruit, tells you about his childhood, and helps you with so many things, won't be around much longer, don't think "I'll do it tomorrow" when you feel the need to tell him that he's been like a second dad to you and thank him for everything, you will miss your chance. And it will hurt.

You will  move again and you will meet more amazing people that will inspire you in so many ways. Take it all in. Don't be afraid to be alone. You are stronger than you give yourself credit for.

Don't talk to people on planes. You'll regret it. Trust me.

Leave a car in your driveway if you can help it. You won't like what happens to your house if you don't.

So, dear Sam, life will take you to some dark places in the next 10 years. But it will also take you to some of your best and brightest. You will miss out on your early 20's, but don't worry, you'll get them back... and then some. You will make mistakes again, some pretty big ones, and people will let you down, but don't stop living because of them. You know how short life is. LIVE IT.

Love,
Yourself

-see Sam run

Letter to my 20 Year Old Self

Happy hump day! I got the idea for this post from some of my favorite bloggers. They did letters to their old selves a few weeks ago and I thought it'd be fun to do the same thing...

Dear 20 Year Old Self, 

Greetings from the world of the older, wiser variety of you.

Right now you’re probably sitting in your on-campus apartment rocking out to MGMT with a bandanna tied around your head Ninja style. You really are that awesome. And even though things will change in the next few years and you’ll grow up in a lot of ways, you’ll still keep that free spirited insanity. And that’s cool.

There are a lot of people in your life now. And in five years, you won’t know most of them.

Carrie is your best friend. But she’ll meet and fall in love with an asshole guy this summer who takes steroids. It will create a whole mess of issues for her and your friendship. Honestly, go ahead and try to help her but it won’t work – she’ll ditch you instead of him. You’ll come home from Christmas break to an empty apartment and no roommate. But don’t worry, you’ll get a new roommate in a few months and some girl across the hall will move out and give you her furniture. You’ll try to make amends with Carrie a few months later and it will kind of work, but she’ll move to Florida and get pregnant with the asshole and you’ll send her a nasty e-mail telling her not to contact you again. Maybe don’t send that e-mail? I mean she does deserve the middle finger, but you’ll later regret burning that bridge when she’s cleaned up life and is back to the Carrie you always loved and you feel weird contacting her.

Stephanie and Mo will fall by the wayside on their own. Honestly, you’re better than them anyways. And you’ll see that your life and the decisions you make really clean up once they’re gone.

There are some people that you know right now that will stick around.

E will continue to be your tried and true. You guys will back out of the party scene and start doing old lady things together like sharing gardening tips and discussing politics (seriously, she’ll buy you a pair of gardening gloves in a few years for your birthday and you will LOVE them).

Jeph will move away a few times. He’ll end up in New York as a dog walker. And even though you don’t see him often, you guys will always be able to pick up right where you left off. And... don't freak out, okay? He'll go back to spelling his name Jeff eventually, too.

And Robby will always be, well, Robby. And he’ll kind of grow up, too. And it will be super weird because Robby isn't very, well, grown up.

That mean old professor you hate right now? Yeah, he’ll end up being your mentor. And believe it or not, you WILL get an A in his class.. and it will be the biggest kick in the ass you've ever received but the sweetest victory you've ever tasted.

Speaking of school, go ahead and opt for the Bachelors of Science instead of the Bachelors of Arts. You’re going to anyway, doing it now will help you graduate faster. And don’t freak about calculus… you’ll make that class your bitch once you've taken algebra but not until.

You’ll go party-hopping with Robby and his friends this fall. And you’ll have to pee while you’re drunk and walking through a neighborhood. Hold it! Whatever you do, don’t pee in those bushes.

You’ll adopt a cat Phoebe soon. You’ll find her on Craigslist and go against your mother’s advice to take her in. It’s a great idea – do it. And yes, she’ll hide under the bed for a few months but she’ll warm up to you, I promise.

When Will and Courtney come over to your apartment one night in February, let them in. And when they peer pressure you into going to a dance club and drinking red wine from a flask – do it. And yes, that dragon shirt from Indonesia will look perfect with the hipster crowd. And when a blonde guy across the bar makes the fish hook gesture, HOP ON! You won’t regret it. That guy is your guy. And he won’t know it that night either. But he will be your best friend and lover for years to come. And he has an ADORABLE dog.

Those floral wedges from Charlotte Russe? Say no. You’ll wear them to a club in Myrtle Beach and probably break your big toe, although I can’t say that for sure.

Next year, you and E will sign up to run a 5k. And you’ll do it. And it will make you feel super nervous and silly and out of place. And you don’t be able to run the whole thing. But you’ll be a runner in a few years and thank yourself for taking that step out of your comfort zone.

Speaking of E, next summer you two will ride bikes through downtown for 2 hours and then you’ll realize that you can’t find your ID and panic. It’s in your bra! Look there first. You’ll be really mad at yourself 4-hours-worth-of-searching later if you don’t.

A new girl will move into the apartment beside you. Don’t hang out with her. She’s super weird and dramatic and does a lot of drugs and has an overbearing mother. No, just no.

You are going to quit smoking cigarettes and drinking soda. Boring, I know.

You’re going to start eating pork again. But you’ll never like ham.

You won’t get that giant peace sign tattoo that you’ve always wanted. And the 25 year old you will thank you for it. Seriously, that’s kind of a cliché tattoo.

You’ll take that belly button ring out eventually because you feel silly having it. Your nose ring will fall out and you’ll be too busy to get it re-pierced. Both will leave scars but whatever.

Honestly, keep on keeping on. You have a big heart and good intentions. And all of the dumb decisions you’re making right now? Yeah, character building.

Love always,

The older, more boring responsible version of yourself

Half Crazy.

Well folks, it's official. Yesterday I jumped off of the diving board and registered for my first half-marathon. No more, I want to run a half marathon's or I'm going to try to run a half marathon's. This shit is happening. And it's happening in November. 

Dear Lord, what have I gotten myself into?

So, obviously I need to start training. And I have two training plans that I've found that seem reasonable yet ambitious.

Number 1:

This one's from Runner's World (it's an old article that my friend, who WON a marathon by the way, used to train for a full marathon). If I used this training schedule, I'll probably cut the long runs in half, because well I'm not trying to run 26.2 miles - I just need 13.1. The training table is at the bottom of the article but the article itself is super inspirational, like all things from Runner's World are (we'll talk more about that in a second).

Number 2:

This training schedule was recommended to me by Katie over at runsforcookies.com, which is one of my favorite running blogs - if you haven't checked her out, you need to! Anyway, this training schedule is specifically for half-marathons so it will definitely be worth looking at.

The good news: I am ahead of the game at this point. Number 1 covers 18 weeks and Number 2 covers 12 weeks. And at this point, my race is a little over 19 weeks away. Knowing me, I will probably take both training schedules into consideration and develop my own little training program. I really like "winging it" most of the time.

Speaking of Runner's World. What an awesome magazine. Whenever I get discouraged about running or think I'm not capable of doing these long races, I read some articles from their website or magazine and it reminds me that running is so much more than a physical hobby. I know that I've always said that a half marathon is probably my end goal because, let's be honest, running 26.2 miles not only sounds impossible to me - it sounds miserable! But I have to admit, reading their issue last month on the Boston Marathon not only made me verklempt (Coffee Talk anyone?), but it also made me want to join the crazy club and run a marathon. But let's get past this half and see how I feel.

Things I'm excited about for this half marathon:

• You guys know how excited I get about race day t-shirts. This one is a technical LONG SLEEVED one. They hooked me right there.
• It's a generally flat run around my hometown - I've run most of the places that the route covers so I'm already mentally aware of the areas and their distances.
• I'll get a cool half marathon medal. Swag, swag, swag. Yes, yes, yes.
• I'll finally be able to mark "half marathon" off of my bucket list.
• Carb loading. I get to do this right? It sounds amazing.
• It's in November - the weather will be PERFECT!
• There is FREE BEER afterwards. BOOM! Done.

Things I'm nervous about for this half marathon:

• Having the endurance and agility to be able to run the whole thing.
• Having a long enough playlist to listen to. (RUNNING PLAYLIST RECOMMENDATIONS, ANYONE?)
• Being able to stay consistent with training despite my constant travel with work.
• Not psyching myself out as the race gets closer (I always do this).

So here goes nothing - I've already spent $70 on registration so there's NO turning back now! I'm excited to kick this things ass and prove to myself that I can do this.

Oh yeah - and see Sam run is doing it with me, too! 
(Although I'm not positive that she's aware just yet...)

Any advice for a first time half marathoner? Come on people, I need guidance!

Happy Tuesday!

Today's Run in the Sun

I know I've already posted today and I'm being an overachiever over here going for two in a day but it just couldn't wait.

I'm finally back to my normal running pace!

I decided to venture out for a run this evening, thinking (like the non-Oklahoman I am) that 5 pm means evening. Well let me share the lesson I learned today - 5:00 pm is the HOTTEST time of day in good ol' Oklahoma. 

I seriously think it's colder in Hell.

96 degrees, sun blasting on my back, no shade (actually in between a baseball field and a wheat field), wind for days (and I ran against it for more than half of the run). 

It wasn't very fun to say the least.

But something magical happened. Remember how I told you about my recent curse of the 12 minute mile? Well it might be over... but I don't want to count my eggs before they hatch.

Booyah, 12 minute mile!

Awww snap! That's right. Miss ten and a half is back in the game! (At least for today). And what's even crazier is this was my overall average. The first mile I ran was like 9:59 (we won't talk about the second one but that might have been 11:00.

Actually a reader left a comment on the 12 minute mile post about cross training and I have to say, I think she's right. I've been doing a lot of boot camp and other workout DVD's at work and I think the leg strength training is really helping!

But please know that while this was my fastest run in a while, this was definitely not the longest. And I can thank the blazing sun for that. Remember all the junk I said about the heat in North Carolina? Yeah, I take that back. That ain't nothin' compared to this jazz!

So lesson learned. Tomorrow I'm either running at 5:00 AM or 8:00 PM. But damn, I'm going to try to stay fast.

How do you beat the heat on a summer run?

I need some tips, people!

Staying Healthy on the Road

My life has been upside down and inside out since the last time we talked. My lovely month of dog-cuddling, concert spectating, and awkward sunburn acquisition are over. 

I've been in Oklahoma since last Tuesday, well kind of. 

I got sent back to Wyoming to get my car (which has been at the airport since March 31st) last Friday and had to drive back to be in OK by Sunday. So 13 hours on the road and I'm back to talk about it! 

Probably the biggest lesson I've learned this weekend is how hard being healthy on the road is.

I seriously miss Wyoming so much already.

I tried taking pictures of all of the states I went through,
but CO and WY were the only two with obvious signage.

Problems with being healthy on the road:

• There is little to no movement, nevermind any attempt for exercise. I literally sat, and sat, and sat. The biggest exercise I got was running into a rest area to pee. (Although I did make myself do 50 burpees Sunday morning before I could check out of my hotel room.)
• It is TOUGH to find healthy food on the road. I'm sure if you're driving through more civilized areas, you can come across some healthy options... but this drive took me straight through the middle of Kansas. And do you know what exists out in the middle of Kansas? Barely anything except for anti-abortion roadside signs (I counted around 18). My options for lunch at a popular stopping exit were: KFC, Arby's (which I had already had that morning for breakfast) and IHOP. So IHOP it was. And I definitely dove all in to the world of sinful eating with chocolate chip banana french toast. Yeah, I know.
• Well actually, those are the only two reasons. But let me tell ya'll - my Healthy Inner Self must have been taking a nap in the backseat of my car the entire time, because she would have NOT been cool with the shit I was eating.

But I'm here in rural Oklahoma. Road trip is over and there is work to be done. And I'm really bummed not to be in Wyoming anymore. I had a good thing going there.

• I had an awesome hairdresser who could make my hair the fakest prettiest blonde you ever did see.
• I knew everyone who worked at the grocery store and restaurants and most of the bars.
• I had a gym that I loved! I knew how all of the machines worked. I knew what time was the busiest time to avoid.

But, my employer has moved me and I have no choice. So Oklahoma it is! Yesterday when I got here, I spent some time scoping out the town for running trails and/or gyms. I think I found both. But damn it is hot in Oklahoma! And super buggy!

It's moments like these that remind me that being healthy and fit isn't always the easiest option but it is definitely do-able. If I would have planned better, I would have had healthy food in my car to eat on the road. (But damn that french toast was delicious.) And now that I'm in a new state and town and environment, I've got to start fresh with my routine. But I'll make it happen.

I'm reminded of one of my favorite Flo Rida quotes:

"Giving up's not an option, gotta get it in."

Happy Monday, folks.

How do you stay healthy when you're out of your comfort zone?

Awesome Weekend and Finish Line Drama

Ya'll, this weekend was so much fun. I hope you can say the same about yours.

Let's see: 

• Friday night I checked out some live music on the beach with my dog and a beautiful sunset.
  
• Saturday morning, I went to a local Blueberry Festival and helped out my friend E at a booth for the non-profit organization that she works for. There was a 5k that morning that I was too late to sign up for, but I definitely awkwardly and jealous-ly hung around the finish line for around 30 minutes watching people complete their races. Because every race I've ever been to I've run in, I never get to really soak up the awesome mojo that brews around this spot and as much as I wanted to be crossing that line with them, I really enjoyed the energy and excitement. Running races is so much fun but is also really challenging for a lot of people, especially in the hot ass North Carolina sun. But seeing the look of accomplishment these people had knowing what they had just completed gave me such a great feeling. Oh yeah, except there was a LITTLE bit of drama on the line.
• A lady had an asthma attack and got hauled off in an ambulance. I felt so horrible for her. You know the lady had to be feeling TERRIBLE and a there's nothing worse than having a medical emergency a midst a huge group of southern people. I truly love southern folks but when something bad is going on, they crowd around and FREAK out. But the paramedics beat the crowd away and got her stabilized and all is well.
• I cannot make this one up: while the paramedics were getting this lady placed on a stretcher and everyone and their mother were crowding around them trying to figure out what was happening, this man crossed the finish line with his child in a jogging stroller. Like most finish lines, this one had one of those plastic humps that hides electrical lines directly underneath it and when this man crossed, the stroller hit the hump so hard that the wheel broke off of the front and the child went flying out. Oh yeah, that definitely happened. And that kid was hardcore about it. He didn't scream or cry; he rolled over, got up, and started laughing. There are some major life lessons that we can learn from that kid!
  
• Saturday afternoon was spent eating Thai-inspired gourmet pizza, drinking delicious beer, and catching up with E. And then a small dance party to Taylor Swift 22 might have occurred in my living room.. but I can't be sure.
  
• That night, we headed down to Greenfield Lake (which is one of the most magical places in Wilmington) to check out Shakespeare on the Green's production of Measure for Measure. Um, this whole show was awesome. First of all, there is no admission, just donation. Second, you can bring your own refreshments (read: booze and snacks). I absolutely loved the atmosphere (minus all of the freaking mosquitos) and company but c'mon, Shakespeare gets kind of boring in the second act... so I was kind of yawn central at the end.
  
• Yesterday was so easy and homely. I walked the dog, drank too much coffee, got some stuff done for work, and watched some Desperate Housewives on Netflix.

Oh yeah, and my Brady Bands arrived on Friday. Top to bottom: Color Me Chevron in Black, Don't be Coy, and To Dye For. They make skinny bands, too, and I have a few of them but I'm kind of in love with these thick ones.

After Saturday's post, I feel bad writing about how lazy and awesome life has been for me, especially knowing that see Sam run is getting life HANDED to her right now (and not on a silver platter). But my easy-go atmosphere is soon to be over, I'm heading back to work tomorrow morning... back to Oklahoma so let's all tell Mother Nature that this tornado shit needs to be over.

Shakespeare on the Green

Right now I'm working on a new post - a letter to my 20 year old self. And it's tough, ya'll. I have so much to say and so many things to remember. So that will come at some point, but go ahead and get your excited pants on!

Happy Monday everyone. 

Don't forget to tell people how much you love them; life has a way of being extremely short sometimes.