Boobless and Twitter - but not together.

First things first. I got a Twitter account.

I am so 2006 over here. Until yesterday, I felt pretty confident in my social media expertise. Annnnd then I got on Twitter and suddenly felt like a 100 year old woman trying to figure out e-mail. And then I saw something about some crap called Keek? And SnapChat? I can't handle all of this junk... I'll get the hang of it, I guess.

Wanna follow me? Of course you do. I'm too mentally slow to figure out how to add the Twitter button to my blog (SOMEONE HELP ME!) but my handle is @HealthLittleMe so jump on it!

Today I'm going to speak on behalf of the Itty Bitty Titty Committee. Remember that time see Sam run complained about her big boob greatness? Yeah, well I'm here to tell you that this grass is always greener on the other side. 

The one problem with me losing around 20 pounds? 
My small boobs have become even SMALLER. 

I'm saying these bad boys are INVERTED. And all of a sudden, I've started to develop a small boob complex about myself. I yearn to be able to walk around without a bra on and not get mistaken for a 10 year old boy. I'd love to be able to have actual cleavage; I'd kill for some side boob action in a tank top. Jesus all I want is a true A cup - is that too much to ask?!?

The other day I was in Victoria's Secret doing my usual panty shopping when an all too enthusiastic salesgirl approached me to ask if I'd been measured lately. Me, in all my flatchested-ness (which was even worse at that moment because I was wearing a sportsbra) all but fell to her feet sobbing. Help me! I wanted to cry. This was definitely a rare moment for me because I'm too much of a cheapskate to ever speak to anyone in a sales position; I know they want to sell me their most expensive shit they've got. But at this particular moment, I was ready to drop some cash on my lack of a rack. $50 is cheaper than a boob job, right? And this whole no boob thing is started to seriously eff with my confidence. 

30 minutes and 5 bras later, and I proudly marched out of that store with a Bombshell push-up in hand. That bad boy adds 2 cup sizes and makes me look like I have a legitimate pair of knockers. Crisis averted and boob job plans delayed.

Don't get me wrong - I actually like having little boobs. But there's a difference in LITTLE boobs and NO boobs. 

Being Positive Polly, I tried to convince myself that being flatchested is cool.

I mean, I can and have gone for a run before with no bra on. And didn't even notice the difference. (see Sam run is shaking her fists at me right now, I know it.)

I can also do the downward dog in Yoga without motorboating myself. (I went to Yoga once with a BIG busted friend and she was having a time!)

I can rock those little strapless bikinis on the beach. 

I can wear something backless and go sans bra.

I'm not saying being flatchested doesn't have its perks - see what I did there? I'm just saying when I'm wearing regular clothes I feel a little... without.

All of my flat chested women - what tricks do you use to make your boobs look bigger?

Happy Thursday, people.